A Rant

Today's subject;
Customers

There are any number of courses, schools and on-the-job schemes that will teach you how to be a good waiter, or a good customer service person. There are any number of people - customers, mostly - who are willing to tell you when your service is sub-par, or not up to their particular brand of par, But, where can you go to learn how to be a good customer?

To the Euan Bowen School Of For Fuck's Sake Use Your Brain, You Asshole! Here you will learn important skills like; acknowledging your waiting staff when they are standing beside your table, moving your shit when a waiter/ress with full arms comes to deliver your food and accepting that when it says on the menu, and on two signs at the till, that we don'y split bills then WE DO NOT SPLIT THE FUCKING BILL AND WHINING ABOUT IT TO GET YOUR WAY MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING CHILD!

Don't actively resist friendly service, like a couple of people did today, or suddenly you'll find that everywhere you go there's nothing but curt, abrupt assholes unwilling to go even one extra inch to help you get what you want. If you've asked for water two times already, then asking a third and fourth time while we're still taking your order only serves to make it look like you have Alzheimers.

Like all human relationships, the customer/server relationship requires give and take. If we're friendly, be friendly back. If you've had a bad day, then - as cheesy as this sounds - accept our happiness as a chance to turn it around.

And for fuck's sake, if we're walking back to the kitchen with our hands completely full, we are NOT in a position to take YOUR FUCKING ORDER!

Thank you for listening.

And on a lighter note, WE GOT THE GOYDER STREET HOUSE!!! Yay us! :)

Four Things I Learned Recently

1. Warren Ellis is an angry, angry young man.


2. Reading too much Ellis will rub off on your.


3. Sometimes the simplest dish is the nicest.


4. If you pack early for a move, you'll need the thing at the bottom of the box on the bottom of the pile before you're unpacking in the new house.

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"Kill the Gelfling!"
- Garthim Master, The Dark Crystal