Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Fun shite

Just looked at Jar's blog and realised it's been a while since I gave pop culture a good pokin' (my NCIS nitpick notwithstanding), so here goes on a movie review...

Really, really fun shite. I'm talking about Blade Trinity. I saw it last night and loved it. Sure, the story was pretty much exactly the same as the last two movies; Blade has to deal with the latest Big Nasty[TM] that the vampires have dredged up to finally tip the balance of power completely in their favour, yadda yadda, but with Jessica "New Hotness" Biel as the sexiest Slayer this side of Sunnydale (I cannae believe I just typed that) and Ryan "HITG" Reynolds as some pretty slick comic relief (as well as being well ripped and good at the fighting) I was able to accept the crapness of the film and just dive in and enjoy it.

The fight choreography is better than the second film and the action sequences are shot much better than the first. They've ditched the cheezy and obvious CGI in favour of some genuine stuntwork that - while not exactly pushing the boundaries of the craft - at least give a couple of nifty moments. The Blade-mobile jumping out the back of a semi trailer and over a car chasing it is a highlight. Jessica and Ryan acquit themselves pretty damn well in the hand-to-hand fighting, and Jessica manages to pull off one of the slickest sticky hands exchanges I've seen outside of Hong Kong cinema. The new weaponry is also a lot of fun, with the "arcing UV laser cutter" - although physically impossible - one of my favourites.

Honestly, if you go into this film expecting anything other than a fun vampires and action flick, you will be sorely disappointed. As snappy and natural as some of the dialogue is, Shakespeare or Stoppard it ain't. As smooth and amusingly painful as some of the fight sequences are, Yuen Wu Ping they ain't. This a B grade movie, shading to C, that has no illusions as to what it is and wallows in it's tackiness with a glee I haven't seen since Welcome To The Jungle.

Four slowly broken arms out of five.

Oh, and Cal, I would be happy to link Clocktower for my movie reviews, but I can't find pictures and stuff of the DVDs. Sorry.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

There are some great photos of Jess Biel floating around in the Internet that you should get a look at (just make sure Carmen is not in the room).

7:18 PM  
Anonymous MissNovember said...

I watched Blade Trinity last night, partly on your recommendation. I enjoyed the first one and love a good shite film but Dear God! This was bad. I mean really bad. I own Welcome to the Jungle on DVD. I bought both Tombraider movies (okay, Angelina probably had a whole lot to do with that). Blade Trinity was BAD. And all through it I couldn’t work out who your new sexiest slayer was, until IMDB-ing this morning (yes, a new verb) – she played Mary Camden in 7th Heaven… okay I accept I’d be the only one willing to admit watching 7th heaven. Bad, though Ryan did have some good lines. But afterwards it was all made up for by watching Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. How does a baby who doesn’t talk get all the best lines? As everybody knows I hate children, but these ones were great. Jim Carrey was completely and beautifully OTT, Meryl Streep was wasted, but Billy Connelly is in it so you can’t go wrong!

12:58 PM  

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